My Wife Cloned Me

(to Lesly Gore's "You Don't Own Me")

My wife cloned me
She took my cells and my D-N-A
My wife cloned me
She said she needs more me everyday

Now she’s working number two
He helps, cleans, and makes soufflés
And cheesy fries and cocktails too
Home now seems very strange, so

Wife’s still cloning
She felt a third would be better fit
Yes, she cloned me
Now I abound, I’m in triplicate

And three, he sews on appliqué
He loves Lifetime movies, too
And now, he’s learned macramé
Likes Judy Garland, too.

Then four and five, scrubbed filthy tub
I freaked when I saw twenty-three
And said, “Oh my!” to forty-one
Then hundred got the better of me

I don’t know which one is me
I know that I’m sick of him
And doc tells me in therapy
“Mind if I borrow them?”

I don’t like me hangin’ round
My wife, she’s insane you see
I plead, “Babe, I’m your number one!”
“No sir, you’re fifty-three”

I’m done, and I want to be one
Not three or be many of me
…
Copyright 2011 Warren Baker
.