Twilight

(to ELO's "Telephone Line")

On no

Come on, now

No, it’s not alright

I’m done with boring, boring, boring, boring

Tripe

Enough, I say

The scenes on silver screen

Have now impaired my frontal lobes

Lame

Broody children

Faces never change

Won’t you energize, a grin would win

Would win

But you’re unreal

I've a beef

I just can’t conceive

You’ve more sequels in the queue

Please stop

Truly, ooly stop

You’re long lame fangs

For dame

They fight

You flog

My brain

A wolf boy ambles by

(the hair he has, he needs a better doo)

And that other guy

(he lives on blood, he’s kinda pasty lude)

Squandered my time

They should be fined

Releasing new Twilight

Should’ve declined

Spending that time

And watching new Twilight

Oy vey!

In my eyes, agony

I found your dusk, twas to me a bit of snorer, snorer

I should let slide

But your visions spoil my nights

They infect like evil spores

So odd

Silly, really flawed

Need big sharp stake

Or cane

Or light

Big torch

With flame

The cash on ticket spent
(just like my mind, I sadly miss it too)

Makes me discontent

(the doc, he says that maybe I’ll pull through)

Please if inclined

To self be kind

Don’t witness this Twilight

Be more refined

Spend better time

With Potter, not Twilight.

Don't Beam Me Down (the Red Shirt Song)

(to ELOs Don't Bring Me Down)

I’m Ensign Patrick, I like staying alive
They want to take me down to planet 6-5
Don’t beam me down, no, no, no, no no
I know what’s in store, no need to ask me once more
Don’t beam me down.

Don’t want no talons from a monster huge
To come down swoopin’ making crewman stew
Don’t beam me down, no, no, no, no, no
I like my blood here instead of schmeared on a sphere
Don’t beam me down.

Don’t send me now, buuurrrring
Take Ensign Mao, buuurrrring
I hear a growl, buuurrrring
Don’t beam me down.

The planet’s steaming, it’s about to blow
I’m twenty-three and I need time to grow
Don’t beam me down, no, no, no, no, no
I want twenty-four to be the year I adore
Don’t beam me down.

The Klingon soldiers, they all love to flight
Yes that’s the Lord’s prayer that you hear me recite
Don’t beam me down, no, no, no, no, no
I’ll go to the brig before I get I off this rig
Don’t beam me down.

They'll knock me down , buuurrrring
Down to the ground, buuurrrring
I'll break my crown, buuurrrring
Don’t beam me down.

I’m feelin’ sickly, can I go take a nap?
I feel it’s safer than a phaser zap
Don’t beam me down, no, no, no, no, no
I want to explore the chance of living some more
Don’t beam me down.

The guards are draggin’ me to shuttle bay one
Please tell my mom and dad it’s been loads of fun
Won’t beam me down, no, no, no, no, no
They’re closing the door, how sad that I joined the corps
They’ll fly me down

They flew me down, uh oh, oh, no, no
I wear a red shirt, that means it’s six feet of dirt.
To lay me down.

Copyright 2010 Warren Baker