Ernie the Fly

(to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' "Learning to Fly")

Well he started out

As a maggot child

Food was rough

Foul and vile

When the sun came up

On that fateful morn

He had quite enough

A thought was born

Our Ernie the fly

Had to leave that scene

Appetite

Needed finer things

Life is short on days

All flies will learn

And the finer foods

Made his palette yearn

Our Ernie the fly

Had to leave that scene

Flew around

Wanted best cuisine

So he took flight

To north side town
Saw some soup

Flew right down

And the patron said

To maître d'

“So why’s this fly

In my split pea?”

“He’s learning to swim,”

The waiter spoke
“Poor fly needs help

With back-stroke.”

Our Ernie the fly

Had a final meal
Drowned in soup

Should have had the veal.

Pat Down

(to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' Breakdown)

It’s your right if you scan me
It’s your right, have my coat
You handle me
Like you’re fondling some squeeze
Honey,
After you’re done can I smoke?

Is there a vibe that I’m sending?
Your wand gives you away
Searching inside there
Is making my wife stare
I’m not your boyfriend today

Hey now
Pat down
T-S-A is very friendly
Pat down
Buddy, something here you like?
Pat down
What you tryin’ dear?
Feel a breeze…
Pat down
For a flight
For a flight?
It ain’t right.

Pat down
What a way to say you love me
Pat down
Honey, made me miss the flight
Pat down
Ring deservin’ should
Marry me
Pat down
For a flight
For a flight?
It ain’t right.

Copyright 2011 Warren Baker

Runnin' Out of Things

(to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' Runnin' Down a Dream)

It was the top of my day,
The coffee ground
I had DiMaggio on,
I was smilin’
Dark brew complete
And smells were creeping
Then the trouble came

No denyin’

Was runnin’ out of cream
An additive I would need
Counteract the sleepy me
Fixin’ my critical need
Runnin’ out of cream

When lunchtime came
I looked for something edible
Maybe something cold
Or something fried
With crackers lain,
The cheese was unspreadable
It was like this morn
Short supply

Was runnin’ out of brie
The softer form of a cheese
Savorin’ a cheese esprit
Tastin’ full flavor and glee
Runnin’ out of brie

I got home
And the moon came out
I cranked the speakers loud
To wake my mind
Fresh salad’s good
Crunchy, light, and mild
What I forgot

That head of mine

Was runnin out of leeks
The greener goods et by me
Fresher stalk of celery
Maybe cucumbers and greens
Runnin’ out of leeks

I’m runnin’ out of things
The items I love to eat
Goin’ to the grocery
Payin’ by credit or lien
Runnin’ out of things.

Copyright 2010 Warren Baker