Super Glue®

(to Abba's "Waterloo")

Last night
At ten till two,
A cup of stew did up-ender
It flew
And glass did hit, earth gravity denied a comfortable way
Crash landing and broke near a door
I’m looking for tube in a drawer

Super Glue, glass was fra-gee-lee and on the floor
Super Glue, wanted it fixed or would never store
Super Glue, couldn’t use tape if I wanted to
Super Glue, careful repairing the broken jewel
Super Glue, happily thanking bonding tool

Then I
With glass in hand
Fell back into the blender
I flew
And I did scream, my flapping hand dislodged and then took flight
I hate an appendage to lose
I knew of a cure I could use

Super Glue, I was unhanded, blood on the floor
Super Glue, saving on gloves wouldn’t be a chore
Super Glue, making a fix is an easy do
Super Glue, sticking my wrist to my arm with you
Super Glue, happily giving my hand to you

To heck with insurance miscues
I’m handy with glue that I choose

Super Glue, pour it on breaks and on bloody spews
Super Glue, thickening agent in all fondues
Super Glue, chemical miracle superglue.

Zamboni

(to Abba's Fernando)

(Note: I'm not sure where this came from, but it's been stuck in my mind all day)

Can you shave the ice Zamboni?

I remember long ago a hockey game you once performed
“Will you take all night, Zamboni?”

They were yelling round the rink and stomping pretty hard

I could see the frantic fans

And sounds of bronx cheers were echoing afar

Irate they were, Zamboni

Every second every minute shouting obscenities

Were you afraid Zamboni?

The crowd threw this and that while your blades spun furiously
And it’s not a stretch to say

They would have thrown their seats if they had been more musclely.

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Things were flying in the air that night
Small things took flight, Zamboni

They were aiming things inaccurately

Yes angrily, Zamboni

Who would have thought of how’d you respond

To their drunken threats

If you had to take a different route

You would, no doubt, Zamboni

.

Now the fans they ran, Zamboni

The stairs no obstacle to you, the gyration of your blades

Did you hear the screams Zamboni?

A ton or two of metal bearing down, no one could possibly evade

I see blood in your eyes

And on the ice a pattern documents your crusade

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Things were flying in the air that night

Then you took flight, Zamboni

Convicted for the world to see

Yes, publicly, Zamboni

They never thought how you’d respond

To their drunken threats

If you had to take a different route

You would, no doubt, Zamboni

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©2009 Warren Baker

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