Guys In Carolina Lost Their Minds

Dedicated to the current NC General Assembly and the indifferent governor of my great state.

(to James Taylor's "Carolina In My Mind")

Lost their minds, those guys in Carolina
Sad to see the right side
Has to go rip the poor kind
Guess you just need a face to grind
And hasten state’s decline
Yes, those guys in Carolina lost their minds

Women, they’re the lovely ones
They’re best locked away, with rights declinin’
Keep them down with manly thumb
Those righteous tears you're formin', fangs are hidin’
Know why?
Guys in Carolina lost their minds

I’d say there’s doubt in most folk’s minds
That voter fraud’s a frequent foul
Myth was made to make you cry
But hey guys with pants on fire, you’re lyin’
Said I
Guys in Carolina lost their minds

Lost their minds, those guys in Carolina
Seems to me the new crime
Set the clock back to old times
When wages were kind to rich old guys
No living wage supplied
Yes, those guys in Carolina lost their minds.

First amendment ain’t quite right
You think the law is wrong for faith you’re haulin’
You felt fright for law that bites
Rights are good for no man, ‘cept for your Man, your Man
Those guys in Carolina lost their minds

All the teaching folks you smother, payin’ paltry
Still you want the best ones in the schools
But you seem like they should work for free forever
Who needs to think, read?
No one does when guys in Carolina lost their minds

Lost their minds, those guys in Carolina
Guess you’d sell your own kind
Rather than grow your own spine
Raleigh has gone to Austin time
Dementia you've supplied
Yes those guys in Carolina lost their minds

Guys in Carolina lost their minds
And we’ll vote for Carolina ‘lection time
Vote for Carolina ‘lection time

Flown
They’ve flown
Filled their brains with empty
Yes they’re gone
Out there
Someone spiked their ice tea
Cos’ they’re gone

Unhandy Man

(to James Taylor's "Handy Man")

A hey babe
Listen now
Careful of what I’m fixing, gal
No babe
I’m no handy man

I’m not the one who’ll use electrical tool
Lose digits or an arm
Or bones break loose
I bust working parts
I need a healthcare plan

If your humble home needs repair
Don’t ask for man like me
I’ll break all your things,
I’ll bust up my skin
There’ll be bleeding to see

There is a good chance I will be maimed
It’s best to keep your tools out of my way
I lack fixin’ smarts
Don’t ask for helpin’ hands

If your broken stuff needs repair
Like light or fridge or sink
I’ll cross all your wires
Or water ascends
Best start runnin’ from me

Here is the main thing I want to say
I torched my house just making café au lait
My cursed moving parts
Are banned from foreign lands

Run a, run a, run a, run a, run run
Flee, flee, flee
Run a, run a, run a, run a, run run
Flee flee flee

James Taylor Swift- Sheless

Goin' to Ursa Minor

(to Carolina in My Mind)

I’m inclined to go to Ursa Minor
Never see the sunshine
I’m gonna have a great time
Open the valve on my air line
And things will turn out fine
Yes, it’s off to Ursa Minor to unwind

Ursa has a distant sun
So far away you won’t see it shinin’
Stumblin’ in the dark is fun
A shooting star appearing now
It’s blinded both eyes
Here in Ursa Minor to unwind.

I thought I’d read in the brochures
That Ursa was worth leavin’ town
Lovely lakes and crystal shores
What I see is very dry
No water spy I
Where on Ursa Minor to unwind?

Was inclined to go to Ursa Minor

Now I miss the sunshine
Now I’m not feelin’ so fine
I’m looking for an outside line
I fear I’ve not much time.
Why’d I go to Ursa Minor to unwind?

Want a priest to read last rites

Before I walk into the light that’s calling
The last flight just left tonight
The air supply, I fear, ain’t flowin’, not flowin’
I’m here on Ursa Minor till I die.

Those stars, just like fireflies, are dancing round me
My short life is snuffed out all too soon

I prepare myself to go into forever
What is it I see?
They’ve flown back to Ursa Minor just in time.

Don’t lose your mind and go to Ursa Minor

You will miss the sunshine
You will miss all of mankind
There’s nothing there for you to find
No decent place to dine
Yes, that Ursa Minor is a waste of time.

My time on Ursa Minor was unkind
I’ll send my travel agent to unwind
Off to Ursa Minor to spend time

Wrong, so wrong, so wrong

Maybe they’ll refund me.

Cash back is in doubt.

Better place without me

There’s the dawn...

.

Copyright 2009 Warren Baker