Thursday, April 30, 2009

Government Uses Facebook as Economic Indicator

K. Letterman News Wire---
The White House announced today that the government will start tracking how many people are using Facebook during working hours. According to a document released today, the government said it realizes “Facebook is ubiquitous in the workplace and at home” and it can show the workforce “has little more to do than surf the web and see what everyone else is not doing.”

Government spokesperson Rose Herring admitted being a Facebook fan herself and excused herself early to check on the status of one of her wall posts. According to officials, the ‘wall’ is a place where people socialize and post what they’re doing, whether people wish to see them or not.

“I’m a vegetarian,” Herring confessed, “and was wondering if Margaret saw my post about bean burritos. And burritos, you know, effect people.” Herring refused to elaborate further.

The number of posts saying “I’m bored at work” dramatically rose during the month of March by 22 percent, while posts saying “I’m busy, leave me alone” dropped more than 18 percent.Wall Street reacted quietly to the news, citing they were too busy installing Facebook on their Blackberrys.

Most economists agree that using Facebook as an economic indicator clearly correlates how much free time people have on their hands with how much work is actually being accomplished. What is unclear, economists fear, is what would people do without Facebook.

“I don’t know,” said one economist. “I’ll have to twitter you back on that.


  1. I love the "accomplished eccentric" title. I may have to steal it from you. So I'm not technically at work - is it better to sit at home and FB before you go to work or do it after you get there? I get paid the same either way.

  2. Work is such a nebulous description of "things I do during the day." I would simply FB when the moment presents itself.