Don't Beam Me Down (the Red Shirt Song)

(to ELOs Don't Bring Me Down)

I’m Ensign Patrick, I like staying alive
They want to take me down to planet 6-5
Don’t beam me down, no, no, no, no no
I know what’s in store, no need to ask me once more
Don’t beam me down.

Don’t want no talons from a monster huge
To come down swoopin’ making crewman stew
Don’t beam me down, no, no, no, no, no
I like my blood here instead of schmeared on a sphere
Don’t beam me down.

Don’t send me now, buuurrrring
Take Ensign Mao, buuurrrring
I hear a growl, buuurrrring
Don’t beam me down.

The planet’s steaming, it’s about to blow
I’m twenty-three and I need time to grow
Don’t beam me down, no, no, no, no, no
I want twenty-four to be the year I adore
Don’t beam me down.

The Klingon soldiers, they all love to flight
Yes that’s the Lord’s prayer that you hear me recite
Don’t beam me down, no, no, no, no, no
I’ll go to the brig before I get I off this rig
Don’t beam me down.

They'll knock me down , buuurrrring
Down to the ground, buuurrrring
I'll break my crown, buuurrrring
Don’t beam me down.

I’m feelin’ sickly, can I go take a nap?
I feel it’s safer than a phaser zap
Don’t beam me down, no, no, no, no, no
I want to explore the chance of living some more
Don’t beam me down.

The guards are draggin’ me to shuttle bay one
Please tell my mom and dad it’s been loads of fun
Won’t beam me down, no, no, no, no, no
They’re closing the door, how sad that I joined the corps
They’ll fly me down

They flew me down, uh oh, oh, no, no
I wear a red shirt, that means it’s six feet of dirt.
To lay me down.

Copyright 2010 Warren Baker