Mute To Be Mime

(to Nick Lowe's "Cruel to be Kind")

Well, Teddy sought to learn a
New trade
Found a class to attend
Just on his weekends
He found his calling
Justified
But friends were
Mystified
With the art he pursued
His teachers gave him
This advice
They said

You gotta be
Mute to be mime
Gives the crowd pleasure
Mute to be mime
Keep your little tongue tied
Mute to be mime
Pantomine rules you
Teddy
You’ve gotta be mute to be mime

Well, he quit his job to start his
New gig
In the malls he performed
The aud-ee-ence lukewarm
He built his act up
Made rebound
To fans he rocked the house down
A win for my friend
The teachers taught him
To pretend
They said

You’ve gotta be
Mute to be mime
Make your moves measured
Mute to be mime
And the crowd’ll be kind
Mute to mime
Key to your world view
Teddy
You’ve gotta be mute
To be mime

Well he did his best till July
Last year
When he gasped and he died
And voice wouldn’t outcry
He died in makeup
Awed the crowd
And when docs probed and checked ‘round
Physician then said
“A diagnosis
To explain
Poor Ted…

“It’s plain to see
Death for our mime
Is the blood pressure.
Death for our mime
Was a quiet decline.
Now I define
Mute was his undo.
Sadly
His ailment was mute
(ailment was mute)
Like a mime.”