I’ve got the crappy service, grouchy waiter, hurry up and wait dining experience blues

I’ve got the crappy service, grouchy waiter, hurry up and wait dining experience blues.

Uh-huh.

Ain’t got no service.
Ain’t got no food.
Ain’t got a waiter
Who’s gotta clue.

The clock is tickin’
The clock don’t lie
The clock said I ordered
Something quarter to nine

My stomach be growlin
My stomach not feelin’ fine
My stomach says “hey, now
It’s quarter after nine.”

(chorus)
Now I’ve been driving all night in the company car
Feeling tired and hungry and slightly ajar
And now I get this service that makes me feel sub par
Makes me feel less than a human, want to head to a bar
I’ve got the crappy service, grouchy waiter, hurry up and wait dining experience blues.

Waiter’s talkin’ to someone
Waiter’s laughin’ now, too
Waiter’s spendin’ his time
With someone who’s not ‘you know who.’

Glass has got water
Glass is now half full
Glass has got nothin’ in it
Tell me where is that fool.

Patience is thinning
Patience is lost
Patience flew out that window
I need to talk to the boss.

(chorus)

The boss comes on over
The boss lends an ear
The boss could care less
I suggest he kiss my rear.

Dinner is now over
Dinner is now complete
Dinner has lasted way too long
Time to vote now with my feet.

Police they start laughin’
Police say stay still
Police say that’s stealin’
When I left sans my bill

But what were the options
And what should I choose
There’s simply no choices
When I got the crappy service, grouchy waiter, hurry up and wait dining experience blues.

© 2009 Warren Baker
.