(K. Letterman News Agency)
The Future Legislative Leaders for the Populace, the FLLP, celebrated its 50th anniversary this year as one of the best places to find future political talent.
In a statement released by the FLLP (or Flippers), the organization congratulated itself on being high, mighty, and extremely inaccessible to the general public.
"We flippers believe it is our duty to act in our self-interest while seeking public offices," the statement said, "and therefore believe that the meek will inherit our dust."
Danny Adept, Whip Leader for Troop 245 in Dayton, Ohio, said the FLLP provides a solid background for those seeking skills in being public servants who don’t serve the public.
"Even from a young age," Adept said, "we teach those skills that prove invaluable in not only the playground of school, but also in the world’s playground. It’s everyone for themselves."
When young children enter the FLLP, they begin as Humans. By adolescence, they graduate to being a Rat. When Flippers leave the FLLP, most troop members hope to earn the honor of Weasel.
"When they reach the Weasel rank," said Adept, "the big dream is to earn the coveted Flopper badge."
Badges are earned in a variety of areas including how to find a good lawyer, how to create truth out of whole cloth, and how to manipulate friends and influence peddle.