Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Dedicated to all those who loved the show as much as I did. May it bring back fond memories of how simple silliness was a beautiful tonic to whatever ailed you. Of course, without the Boss, this wouldn't have been possible.

The animals had a homecoming in a theatre late last night
And a scientist named Honeydew poured some goo in a glass pipe
Cute little piggy sitting by the stage waiting in the wings
The goo flows over the glass lip and goes boom
Together they reach out to wipe off the green goo and it’s a normal night

Well Scooter the stage hand tracks down the tragedy and gets everybody back in line
While Rowlf tickles the ivories with his blazing fast paws
From the balcony to the stage laughter thunders through the herd
Those old hands make their play in Muppetland.

A man with big choppers shines his smile as he warms up the Mayhem
Dr. Teeth guides his geniuses as they beat and strum on anything in sight
Man there’s a rift in reality in this place
There’s singing rats dancing with spinning plates
Until the green frog, from a nearby bog, cuts this Strangelove script
The stage is alive as Fozzie Bear warms up with jokes
Guest stars preen in their green rooms waiting for their moment
A swedish chef shoots holes in dough and gives them a new name
The puns and the punished explode into over the top sketches
And chaos takes center stage and nobody’s in control in Muppetland

In the balcony two old men stare on in disbelief
As Nigel guides the music as giant chickens lay blue eggs on stage
A pig pines for a frog but no one seems to notice
Desperate for attention karate chops her way through the mischief
An animal pounds away at his drums
Dancing begins in earnest until a banana brings down the house
A blue thing named Gonzo tries a trick that falls flat but gets some giggles
A pig in a spacesuit speaks his mind but really has little to say out loud
No one watches as the pig gets sucked into the airlock
Or as Scooter reaches to turn down the stage lights.

Inside the aisles are on fire in a real laugh off
Between flesh and whats styroprene and the monsters down here
Don’t say nothing at all, they just grunt out loud and let it all be
And with the flash of a smile these creatures reach for a moment
And try not to land on their can, so they wind up human, not even knowing
Tonight in Muppetland.
©2009 Warren Baker

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