When I read a nursery rhyme, I feel I'm reading the end of a story. Never the beginning. It's time to clarify things. Here is my take on Jack and Jill.
Jack was thirsty, and that was that. Normally, the water was plentiful in the valley, but on this occasion, not a drop could be found.
"Parched," he thought as he licked his dry lips. "I can’t stand another moment."
His looked to the mountain. The tall, grand mountain. Actually, it was more of a hill, but Jack was a short fellow given to bouts of dramatic flair.
"I must have a companion," he said. As the words left his lips, Jill walked by. She was whistling, something Jill’s of her caliber are wont to do. She was a happy Jill, given to skipping, dancing, and whistling odd tunes that popped into her head.
"I’ll go," she said. She smiled her Jill smile, batted her Jill lashes, and then smiled once again for insurance purposes. She had a thing for Jack, and if anyone was going to be his companion, it was going to be her.
"Water," Jack said. "I’m so thirsty, and the well here is dry. So my only hope is to climb the mountain and fetch some water."
Jill knew it was a hill, but she didn’t want to make Jack feel any smaller than he was.
"I’ve a pail," she said. "We can fill it and soothe your thirst." What she didn’t say were the words revealing her ulterior motives. The hill was the perfect place to corner Jack and admit her infatuation with him.
"Agreed," Jack said.
Jack and Jill walked to the bottom of the, er, mountain and started their climb. Jill, only a few feet behind Jack, was feeling fresh and puckish. She kept watching his butt move back and forth as he climbed, and all she could think about was grabbing it. The butt.
And she grabbed it. Not a tentative "Oh my, I believe I’ve grabbed your behind" kind of grab. It was more of a "Ahhh. The ischium!"
Jack, whose butt hadn’t been touched by another’s hand since the doctor cried "It’s a boy," was alarmed. And the only rock on the hill big enough to trip a small foot found his left toe, twisted it, and then forced his right foot to land sideways.
Jack tumbled, his body falling backward pushing Jill’s greedy palm into her stomach. This caused Jill to fall. Luckily, it was only a hill and just a short distance to the bottom. Unluckily, Jack’s head introduced itself to a rock, and the crown his dentist placed two days before obligingly cracked.
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