Knife Cuts Better Than Spoon

(K. Letterman News Agency)
In a recent clinical study, experts found that knives are clearly better at cutting than spoons are.
Dr. Frank N. Sadly, lead researcher at the Leadbetter Institute of Fine Dining and Millwork, used a serrated knife to cut through a 2 inch thick steak. Total cutting time was >5 seconds. A spoon was used to cut through the same piece of meat. Spoon total cutting time was just shy of 1 minute.
“We were a little surprised,” said Sadly. “Though there has been anecdotal evidence for quite some time, I feel we finally have the rock solid evidence needed. Clearly, we thought the spoon would do much better.”
Parents have encouraged youngsters to cut their meal portions using a knife, but according to Dana Sotto Voce, children have lacked useful evidence that knives work better than spoons. Children protestations at the dinner table have been an issue since the invention of food.
“Parents no longer need to speak quietly of this problem,” said Sotto Voce. “They can raise their voices proudly and show they do indeed know what they’re talking about.”
Recent tests using a hammer, a Kleenex, and a reciprocating saw proved inconclusive.

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