Saturday, May 29, 2010

Rejected Passages from Lord of the Rings

Bilbo sighed a heavy sigh, his thoughts turning to his long departed parents. How he hated them, he thought. Naming him Bilbo. What a horrible name. Then he smiled and reflected, “At least they didn’t name me Frodo.”

"You don't know what its like being a metaphor," Gandalf sobbed. "I'm I'm a wizard for cryin' out loud. You'd think I could summon a little color in my life. And maybe some sensible shoes."

"But Gimli," Legolas said, his voice apologetic and pleading. His soft elven eyes showed remorse and regret.
Gimli growled. He grabbed his battle axe and stomped across the fellowship hall and into the dark deep recesses of the forest. Elves were so barbaric, Gimli thought. Not only was the chateaubriand overcooked, but the creme brulee was not caramelized in the least. And where were the napkins?

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