Saturday, September 19, 2015


(to Everclear's "Santa Monica")

I hate this yoga and this
Bending and twisting
I can’t reach toes
I don’t think this move can
Help spine
I don’t think this move’s
Completely sane

Had some big bland fruit
And some no-taste shakes
I do believe they’re made with the silt from lakes
I just want to be a
Fit guy
I don’t need to run a
5K race, what a bore

I just want to eat some
Ice cream
When I try, I find
My butt grows with ease

So I drink the rancid potions
Exercise behind
Life coach on retainer
Wish I had pie

So I keep my legs in motion
Simple life denied
No more mashed potatoes
Wish I had wine

So now I’m running here in
More like a waddle, though gaining speed
Can’t get away
Who the hell said this is
Good time?
I just want to eat some
Crunch and Munch and a Smore

I have no doubt
That there’s another way
Not liposuction or de Sade pain play
I don’t want to be the
Fat guy
I just want to do a
Jumping jack then the door

I don’t need to be Joe
I would rather surf some
Cool sites on Google Chrome

I don’t have the drive, devotion
Lack the fire inside
Best with sleeve of crackers
Bag of pork rinds

But I’ll put my bod in motion
Leave the snacks behind
When I talk to waiter
Ask for less fries

Yeah ask for less fries
Yeah ask for less fries
Yeah ask for less fries
Then ask for more pie

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