Showing posts with label technology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label technology. Show all posts

Saturday, December 31, 2011

iPad 3 Released

Apple announced the release of iPad 3 today. The new release comes on the heels of Amazon’s recent release of Kindle Fire.

“We decided to make new iPad a little retro,” said spokesperson Gala Reddelicious. “We asked our engineers to go back to the drawing board and make the new iPad out of less expensive materials so we can bring cost down and make it easily affordable.”


According to the technical specifications, the iPad 3 is made of Picea Piceoideae, an element commonly found in forests throughout the world. It comes with 50 ‘pages’ that contain strategically drawn ‘lines’ that assist users while they write and draw using a special Apple stylus. The stylus is made of graphite and recycled trees. Extra 'pages' can be purchased at various office supply stores.

The pages, according to specifications, may be kept indefinitely and filed in what’s called a ‘cabinet,’ According to the iPad 3 documentation, a cabinet is a large box that has folders.

“And there’s no need to print,” said Reddelicious. “Once you have made your image, you simply tear out the page and file it in your cabinet.”

According to Apple, the iPad 3 comes with a redesigned animation engine that allows users to ‘draw pictures’ with the stylus on different pages and produce a quick animation. Though previous animation engines on the iPad would drain batteries quickly, the new engine does not require a battery. The new technlogy called iFlip® involves the user bending the iPad's iFlex® pages and releasing each page quickly, one page after the other.

“The beauty of the iPad 3 is that there's no battery, no WiFi, and no need to spread your fingers in an uncomfortable fashion so you can see a larger picture,” Reddelicious added.

The new iPad comes with a special Apple iMagnify® tool that’s easily held over the page so you can see what’s been written.

Many publications have heralded the new technology as “revolutionary” and “game changing.” According to one publication, the reviewer found the technology so simple that a “manual is unnecessary. A child could use this.”

The new iPad 3 will be officially released in the first quarter of 2012. Street price is estimated at $349.95.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

I'd Like to Search the World with Bing

(to the New Seekers' "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing")

I like to browse on Chrome from home
And Google me some grub
Watch Aqua Team on Apple screen
And all while, sit on butt

I’d like to search the world with Bing
And download Harmony
I’d like to hold her in my arms
And love her vir-tual-lee

Or maybe meet a girl for once
On Warcraft’s battle land
As YouTube buffers newest thrill
I'll hack a school exam

Its surreal thing
In the world of today
Is the sun out today?
What’s the real thing?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Apple on the Fritz


(to Taco's Puttin' on the Ritz)

Phone you choose
And don’t you know
Signals fall through
You paid the dough,
There’s no transmit
Apple on the fritz

Trendy types
In Birkenstocks
Squeeze it tight
A call is lost,
But they look hip
Apple on the fritz.

Gadget grabbing guys and gals’ll show ya:
“Least they don’t have problems like Toyota.”
(got no mo-tah)

Jobs will nix
He’s such a player
Balks at fix
No soft-a-ware
Is in the mix
Apple on the fritz

“Here’s our case,” he says to you.
“Other phones will do it too.
Grab the broadcast in the air
Drop the callers anywhere.”

“Bad rap,” say Apple zealots
“Please wack, or use a mallet.”

Gizmo most devine
For-a some of the time

Apple blues
But stocks’ll rise
Top brand too cool
Eyes covet ‘I’s
Smooth market lips
Apple on the fritz

Trendy types
In Cupertino
Adverhype
A shiny show
They’re makin’ hits
Apple on the fritz

Dee-vice divas shouting out “I wanna!”
Longing for that trip to techno-vana.
(Palm o’ drama)

Adam knew
In garden old
A brand of fruit
The serpent sold
Just can’t resist
Apple on the fritz.

Copyright 2010 Warren Baker